Drug Rehab: What if They Don't Want to Go

It is often difficult for an addict (or anyone, for that matter) to admit – first that they have a problem, and, second, that they are unable to fix it by themselves. Family and friends can feel frustrated by what seems like illogical reasons for not seeking treatment or by the stubbornness of an addict who insists that nothing is wrong despite many financial, emotional, interpersonal relationship, career, and social problems suggesting the complete opposite.

Option 1. Set up an Intervention

If your individual efforts to persuade the addict to get help have not been working, you should consider arranging and implementing an intervention. Although it is possible to gather friends, family members, significant others, and/or co-workers on your own, having the help of a professional interventionist could eliminate extra work and unnecessary stressors.

Because addiction is often perpetuated by friends and family with good intentions who, in an attempt to help an out-of-control loved one, give money, shelter, food, or bail, or provide for their needs in other ways, interventions often mark a turning point. When everyone unites to give the addict two clear options – treatment or withdrawal of support – a resistant addict may be positively overwhelmed by their family’s love for them and go willingly. In some cases, the addict may still have a psychological need to show resistance or power over the situation, but will still accept help (“I don’t really need it, but I guess I’ll go if it will make them happy.”). An addict who refuses help during an intervention may later ask for help when they realize how difficult it is to continue living the way they are without the financial and emotional support of their loved ones. If an addict still refuses, other options should be considered.

Option 2. Consult an Attorney and a Physician.

Many people wonder if there’s anything they can do to legally force someone to get help. They are often surprised that the answer is, usually, “no.” In many cases, addicts have the legal right to make decisions for themselves, even if those decisions are wreaking havoc in many areas of their lives. However, there are some situations in which a person can be forced to get treatment. To find out specific laws in your state, you should consult an attorney. In general, people have the right to make decisions about their lives until those decisions start to violate laws and impact society in a negative way; if a person commits a crime as a result of their addiction, an Administrative Law Judge may require them to get treatment as part of their sentence. Also, the laws for minors may be different than those for adults, and parents may be able to force their minor child into a treatment facility.

Finally, some states, like California, have legal codes for “involuntary hospitalization,” which is why it might also be wise to consult the addict’s physician or your own. However, these short-term, forced hospitalizations can only occur if, in the opinion of a psychiatrist, police officer, or other certified professional (like certain social workers), the person is “gravely disabled” and likely to be a danger to themselves (i.e., suicidal) or a danger to others (i.e., homicidal).

Option 3. Work on Forgiveness and Acceptance.

Accepting an addict’s choices is extremely difficult, especially when they are damaging so many people. However, family and friends also have the power to make decisions for themselves, and working with a therapist to move forward with their own lives is an important yet often forgotten step. Forgiving an addict does not mean that you have to approve of their decisions, nor does it mean you must reconcile with them; it is simply a way for you to stop letting the situation have so much control over you.